Judgments as an excuse

First let us define judgments then excuse.

Judgment in this case is the forming of an opinion, estimate, notion or conclusion, as from circumstances presented to the mind. An excuse seeks to remove blame or justify.

Let’s look at how judgments serve you:

First if you can have a judgment about someone it could support an excuse as to why you do not have the power to change. The thing that holds judgment in place is your belief, known or unknown.  

Here’s an example;

Pam has an old belief that says she is not supported.

Becky is well liked and supported.

So Pam judges Becky and tells everyone she knows how bad a person Becky has become.

What feeds this behavior is Pam’s not feeling good enough about herself which is her own judgment or opinion she concluded because she notices she is not as supported as Becky.

Now if Pam is looking for a reason not to change, she will hold on to this belief with both hands. If Pam wants to feel supported in her life, all she has to do is give up that judgment of non support by comparison, and start noticing where she is supported.

This sounds very simple and it is not easy.

Pam decides to give up this judgment or belief depending on how much pain it has caused Pam by loosing friendships.

If Pam has so much invested in being unsupported that she has built her life on that notion, she may not be willing to give this belief up even at the cost of her health. All the resentment generated from this belief causes stress on the physical body.

On the other hand if Pam saw this as a pattern or she is not happy about how her life is working, she may be willing to at least look at this belief.

Let us believe Pam wants to change.

Pam starts by stating what she believes now –

¨     no one supports me

Then she states the opposite in her own words -

¨     everyone supports me in their own way

And she consciously chooses to give up the old belief. This is important because when she took on that old belief she did it unconsciously. Now she reclaims her power and tells her subconscious that she is the master of her life.

Pam’s job is to notice everyone who supports her and acknowledge them.

She starts making lists.

¨     My phone company gives me service

¨     My sister takes time for me

¨     My dogs support me

¨     My parents help me with my chores and errands

¨     My friends listen when I call

The list goes on and on and everyday someone new comes into her life - she notices, acknowledges them, and adds them to the list.  The UPS man started covering her boxes with plastic when he left them, her neighbor paid her vet bill for her birthday, and a coworker brought her bagels.

Even with all the pages of support, Pam sometimes feels judged and criticized. This feeling is created because Pam hasn’t forgiven herself for when she judged and criticized Becky.

Pam is ready for the next phase; Pam can start saying the forgiveness prayer in a manner to forgive her for ever judging or criticizing another person and continue until she feels grateful. 

What’s the magic word in a forgiveness prayer?

It can be anything that contains sincere acceptance of wanting to let go of any hurt, frustration, or resentment that you have been holding on to about any person or situation in your life.

Here’s the one I use.

To Mother/Father/God/Source, if I have hurt anyone including myself intentionally or unintentionally, I forgive and release it. If anyone has hurt me intentionally or unintentionally, I forgive and release it. I release anything that would keep me from being ‘the divine me’ throughout all time, space, and dimension.

If this story was a picture instead of words, it would look like a tree with the trunk and branches sitting on a line that represented the ground and the roots that stretched out below the line would be difference sizes.  

The branches would represent the things you could see in your life in physical form. Example: the computer, relationships, dog, cat, habits, etc.

The trunk would show how sturdy these branches were being held up.

The ground line would be the division between the conscious and the unconscious minds.

The roots would represent the beliefs in the unconscious mind that feed the branches above. Example: people want me to succeed, I am loved and supported, people trust me.

Some roots would hold beliefs that you want. Some roots would hold beliefs that you no longer choose to have. Because the roots or beliefs are below the line of consciousness you may not know what those beliefs are but you can look at your physical world and see what is living in your world.

It’s easy to look around your world and see what you truly want there and what you no longer need to keep.

So let’s dig up those roots that are feeding what we no longer need in our lives and plant new seeds so our spring orchards can bear delicious fruit.